Best White-Trash Diner

If you're tired of swanky speakeasies and clubs with dress codes, come on down and enjoy some wholesome, all-American, artery-clogging, trailer-park fun at Butter. The bar's métier is babysitter-manufactured cuisine — in other words, lots of microwaveable oldies-but-goodies to exacerbate your heartburn. It may well be the only place in town where you can feast on cheese-smothered Tater Tots (although its specialty is really the deep-fried Twinkie) and imbibe forties from a paper bag while taking in cinematic classics like the National Lampoon franchise. If you can stomach the cocktails (made with grape and strawberry soda, natch) or the mullet wigs likely to make an appearance on the resident irony- and booze-soaked hipsters, this is actually a pretty cool spot to shoot the shit. Of course, you can always say screw the crowd and come exclusively for the menu. Beanie Weenies washed down with some Pabst Blue Ribbon or SpaghettiOs in colored plastic bowls might leave you queasy, but given the chicks dancing on the bars, the dinner and entertainment combo gets points for audacity. Taste connoisseurs need not apply.